is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
i think my cat just said my name.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
