my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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