suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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