I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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