so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
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