so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
