just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
