is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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