You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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