in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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