just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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