Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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