do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
