Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize