she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
