you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I think my nap took me to another dimension
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
