stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
