PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
