you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
