Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
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