Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
