Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
The air taste purple.
Randomize
