Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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