Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
