You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
