I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
