Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Our group of friends now have more broken bones than reasonable excuses for why they're broken.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
Randomize
