I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
