okay pat passed out under dana's car
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
