I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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