The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Randomize
