New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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