Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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