No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize