Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
