would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
we're making bets on your personal life
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
