Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
