1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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