They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
