Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
