im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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