it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
