i wish my penis had a tongue
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Enjoy the penises
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
