He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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