"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
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