WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
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