No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
