He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
