i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
