i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
