I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
