Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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