Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
Randomize