How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
