Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
