How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
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