You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
