Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
