I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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