so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
