It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
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