Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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