so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I have grass duct taped all over my body
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
