well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
