I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Oh honey. I will not JUST be drunk. I will be spring break drunk. Spectacularly hammered. It will be glorious for all watching and embarrassing for anyone that has to drag me to bed.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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