No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
Randomize