Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Randomize
