I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
