The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
