Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
i dont even know how to be here
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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