In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
